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2010/08/13

Dependable

Dependable
By forumat

Youtube user: forumat | Facebook | Twitter
Age: 32, Bulgarian
Bulgaria България Болгария, Sofia София
Film language: Bulgarian, Болгарский
Film URL at Youtube



Hello, my name is Vigo and I'm an addict.Isn't that the waythat the Mutual Aid session starts? I'm just as much anonymous as you are.Also that dependent.Sorry, but that is not one of thosegrievous stories about some drug addict.I won't touch you with my tragic destiny.Nor will I give my bank accountthat you can fill with tears in your eyes.No, my vice is not a vice.My dependence is the same as yours.Just like Blanche DuBois says:Whoever you are, I have always dependedon the kindness of strangers.It doesn't matter if I know you or I don't.Sometimes it is not even necessaryfor you to cross my way.To be my neighbor, my friend, my lover…or simply an acquaintant.

We all depend on the slightest things.On the personwho sells you coffee in the bistro.On the supplier who delivers it to him.The electricity in the coffeemaker.Water, trade license…The peoplewho are responsible for all of that -All of them dependent on the moodof mother-in-law`s or the faithful wife…The cry of the children,asking permission to go on excursion.The land lord scrounging his leaseor funds for consecutive repair.The payment of taxes.The waiting in lines.The driverwho's stopped at the green light.Or simply the sound of the alarm,smugingly send us to work.Where there is a boss and a secretary.With another boss above,but with an assistant.Who also have children,or maybe he is lonely…And all you want is a cup of coffeein the nice summer afternoonin the drowsy park nearby.We are all dependent.Like children.They just seem more dependent than us.They are simply smaller.They look fragile.Vulnerable.Just like the old people are,or delicate women...

Somehow you always get amazed,when a big man collapses.And if it's someone close,you get scared.As if the securityin your entire world is vanished.Then you seek for a new support.A new dependence.Nothing of this is a vice.It's in your human nature,same as you feel power of thirst,hunger…The same way you cry or laugh.Breathe…The need to touch or be touched.To be praised.To be strong.Independent man or a woman…Proud of that.Of the achieved… Financially free.Sexually free.Armed.Dependent on their opponentor the approving eyes of the crowd.Just like governments,states…Which understand sooner or later, that there is always more powerful,more able… Or just in a better position.While watching the sunsetwe feel a bit of sadness.And loneliness.Nostalgia…Always looking at the dark side of life.As if a doom is hanging above us.Since the creation of the world -it has always been cursedby an epic catastrophe.A catastrophe which will bring the end.

All the humankind,all its culture and way of life,every achievement or discovery -cradled with fear.Fear that we lose.That something is leaving…And cannot be brought back.Accumulations records, filed with relentless accuracyof the permanent time that we determine.I have the same fears.I'm dependent!Hell - the biggest figuresin human history had those too.But they have known, that after the sunsetthe world does not end up, it sails to its new beginning.

Major feelings: Love, Hope, Fear, Dream,
Vigo
Submitted: 8/13/2010 4:00:22 Jerusalem time

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